After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
