She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she pinky promised me she was 18
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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