I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
