Jerry, you need to find god
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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