I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
