4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
