I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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