And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
