u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
