i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
