dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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