I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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