We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
