I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
