i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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