Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
