You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
