please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
