what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize