I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
