I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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