Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
