Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
