Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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