She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
