WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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