Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
