Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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