And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
