Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
