I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Randomize
