he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
