Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Im part way to drunk.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize