MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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