We won't sleep together?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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