there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My vagina is very pro this idea
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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