I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
