I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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