wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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