Need sex. Gaining weight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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