I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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