If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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