I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
