i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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