Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
smell my finger.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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