Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize