i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
