Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
