she woke up with a sticky ear
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
