if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i think my cat just said my name.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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