Ambien. No doubt about it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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