Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
