Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
should my penis look like a turkey
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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