it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
