You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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