I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
