I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize