new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
