I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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