I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
