I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
