I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
