Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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