Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize