The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
