That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
