Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
