Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
