I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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