Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize