P.S. I can't hear my feet
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
