i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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