Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
