Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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