brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
