You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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