I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
