I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
